Diary Writing

You may be wondering what it is there to write in Diary. For any activity there must be a clarity of the purpose for which we take an activity, whether we meditate, we read or we hear, we sing, we play. Similarly when somebody says we should write diary, the question is why? What is the purpose it is going to achieve? I know I have done those things, what is there to note about. This has been the common vein in which people talk, when we talk about diary writing.

Some organized people who would like to see their expenditure tallies with their income and then they plan it that way. They know which are the things they should cut and which are the things they should improve, all these things are general way in which a man plans his expenditure. Most of the diaries people maintain, if at all they maintain, would relate to this aspect. There is nothing wrong about it. One has to be very careful in his planning so far as the financial things are concerned otherwise you likely to end up in unfortunate situations where you may be owing somebody, etc. Which are the expenditures that can be cut, you would in a position to decide and when you require some money you would be in a position to find it. The habit of writing diary somehow has not been taken very seriously by many people, even in ordinary life. They say I know what I get and I know what I spend, what is the necessity for maintaining all this? But those who maintain will be in a position to tell you the enormous advantage they get. They know where they can cut unnecessary expenditure.

Similarly when it comes to spirituality, what is our goal, where are we going, how far, which are the things that can be cut to improve the quality of spiritual practice that I have got, which are the things that are standing as hindrances in our sadhana? These are all the factors, that you will be in a position to understand and then suitably change your practices. Say for example, a person has taken to sadhana because of the natural inclination. I am not talking about which sadhana, any sadhana for that matter. There are certain things which are conducive for it, you will be in a better position to do by adopting certain things. There are certain things which are to be discarded and we don't want it in order to achieve this goal, they are positive hindrances so we should get rid of it. So which are things standings against you, which are the things standing for you, is not a matter of philosophy, it is a matter of your own practice. Say you get up early in the morning, ok, you are able to get up. If you make a mention of it saying that I got up at such and such time and meditated or I did this japa, I did this sadhana, whatever it is, regularity or non-regularity of that will be seen by you over a period of time. You can definitely say that whether you are regular or not. If you are not regular you will then come to this conclusion there is something wrong somewhere. May be it is due to your watching a TV late in the night or going for a drama, going for a cinema, going for a club, something like that which stands in a way. You might have read more previous night and you are not able to get up early next morning. You will then be in a better position to organize your timings. So far as the practical aspect of sadhana is concerned, this is one of the most important things.

Now, for example just now you were told to meditate on divine light in the heart. Do not bother about the various thoughts that come to you. Do not also bother about the physical discomforts that you may have but continue with your task of meditating on the divine light ignoring the various thoughts that come to you. Easily said than done because which are the thoughts that come to you would be one of the first considerations we should have. Normally we get thoughts which are very very routine, day to day. May be you have to go to the school and you feel that you have not prepared well and you feel that let me complete this meditatin, so that I can go back to that i.e. tasks which are ahead. Things you have done the previous day will also be there in your mind. I could have done that better, I should improve on that, I perhaps seem to have committed a mistake in such and such thing, let me rectify it, the program that I have written in computer perhaps is wrong, or the play that I have played particularly the cricket match in which you are involved, you played a wrong stroke and you would like to rectify that by going for practice. These are the various thoughts that come to you apart from the problems that you have got, regarding say, a next day examination. These are periodical things. An examination that is there, a test is there, a departmental test is there, these things are happening. Everyday we are being examined by so many people so we would like to improve our performance on that.

So these thoughts come in the wrong time. When you meditate and later take up these things, it is much better but these things come during meditation not allowing you do this job. So these are all various thoughts that come to you. Why do they come to you at all? From where are they coming? They are not coming from elsewhere in the atmosphere. They are coming from within and you are face to face with those thoughts, which are your own most of the time. Some of the unfortunate souls may be having thoughts of others also, this is possible. May be because of an extraordinary attachment that they have got to some friend, some other gentleman, the thoughts relating to them may come. More often than not the thoughts come to you relating to your father, mother, their health, their problems, your sisters, brothers, the brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws, all sorts of problems which they are having, with which you have nothing to do still will come. You cannot solve that problem here, still the thoughts will be coming to you. This is because of lack of orientation we have got to our goal. If our goal clarity is there, these things will not come. So if you record your diary all these thoughts will be finding a place in your diary. Honestly record during meditation that these are the various thoughts that have come to me. Over a period of time if you see whether these thoughts are reduced that means your sadhana is progressing properly, otherwise you should concede the point that your sadhana is not progressing properly.

Now, what is the goal with which we are starting? We are saying oneness with the Ultimate, oneness with the Master, it is a very very peculiar word that we are using because we really don't know what is God, nobody has seen Him. We have got umpteen number of pictures, statues, portraits, so many things are there available, each one of them having its own attraction to some people. Some people feel attracted to a Gopala, somebody else feels an attraction to Radhakrishna, the reason for this we do not know. Some people like that and some people like this, somebody else for Balakrishna. All are related to Krishna but different types of adjectives attached to it and each one is choosing it mainly because of his own inclination. That is the type of problem that we have got, that is not the goal that we are going to have. Unless that particular thing is so deeply embedded in you, that you seek only that and if your prayer is of a very high order it is just likely that Divinity may also yield to your request and may appear in that form. Do you understand? It is not that that is the form of divinity but divinity may yield if your devotion is of a very high order, of an extraordinary type, total commitment to a particular form if you have got, divinity may out of its consideration for you, may reveal it but that is not the form of divinity. Divinity has no clear-cut form, it is formless, nameless. That being so when we talk about achieving the goal, what are we talking about?

So the goal is "O Master, thou art the real goal of human life". We said that one sentence. The clarity by itself will not emerge immediately. What is the clarity that you have got on that concept? What is the clarity that I will be in a position to impart to you on this concept? Seems to be tough but, if you know the all pervasive nature of the Master, God, when you meditate, you feel that, then a meaning develops towards that, that particular sentence gains a meaning. Do you catch my point? The goal clarity comes not in the beginning, the goal clarity comes in the end. Only this much of clarity that we require in the beginning is that God is without any form or name and He is the one who is supporting all of us, He is the one because of whom we are living, this is a basic understanding that we should have. If we have this understanding that it is He that is working through us then you understand that whatever you do should be pious, should be righteous, should be correct. It is not as though ethics leads to God, it is God who leads you to ethics, reality is that. Reality is, I should do good and therefore I will be reaching God. No, you know God is there with you and you cannot afford to pollute Him and therefore you do good. The reason why I should do good is divinity is expressing through me and when divinity is expressing through me, I cannot afford to commit mistakes, I cannot commit foul, I cannot behave ungodly, I cannot behave evil. Many people put this question, in modern days, why should anyone do right? What is the reason why we should good? The reason for that is simple - that we are the expressions of the divinity and divinity is purity, on this there is no doubt. Divinity is purity, nobody says divinity is impure. The whole human civilization has accepted this concept of purity to go along with God so we have no business whatsoever to pollute it and therefore we have got to be living at the level of purity, doing good deeds.

So now what is the human level? What is this human life about? This is the reason why our people have stated that you should practice Satya, Ahimsa, Asteya, Aparigraha and Brahmacharya. These are the five qualities that you should develop to remain as a human being. If you commit any mistake in any one of these things, you have behaved as something not human and unless you live at the human level, the talk of God makes no sense. First of all let us be humans, then we will think about a God. The purity of God, of which we are now cent percent sure when we start sadhana, otherwise we don't start sadhana at all, purity of God is there, you have got to be pure. Now this leads us further to Soucha, we have got to be clean in all respects. Then you will not start talking about why I should not meditate on the bed, and why should I take a bath and then meditate. This type of doubts will not arise but in the beginning you have got to get accustomed to it. Already some of us are accustomed to take bed coffees, bed teas, these types of peculiar ideas are already there. Once you know you are purity and once you know it is God that has expressed through you, then you will not try to do such things but is such an awareness is coming to you at all? And that comes to you through sadhana, if you yield to the divine you will consistently know your low position of you being a human and the Master being divine. This humility makes you take your sadhana very seriously and then when you do sadhana, these things get to your head. These are all the things that come to you as viveka.

Viveka grants you rigorous discipline of getting up early in the morning, doing the prayer. The ritual aspect of it is one thing, we do it in the beginning as a ritual not because of any conviction, deep conviction of the divinity that is there in our heart but we suppose that divinity is in our heart. We accept intellectually that position and then we start practicing. After you practice for some time, the viveka develops - what is real and what is unreal. What is sat and what is asat. Sat-asat viveka as they put it. What is Sat? To remain pure is Sat, to be present before the Divinity in purity is Sat. To present ourselves saying anyway that we all are sinners, therefore, let us be whatever we are and let us stand before God, that is asat. It is a logic, it is a peculiar intellectual logic which permits you to do all sorts of things. What purity can I have? I am pure perhaps outwardly, inwardly how can I be pure?, The world is such therefore what does it matter whether I take bath or I don't take a bath, all that is important is that we should think about divinity, has it not been said by such and such saint that outer things do not make any sense, all this is not proper viveka, it is vipareetha argument. These are not the arguments which are accepted. You come to discriminate between these two and then your getting up early in the morning becomes no more a ritual but is a commitment towards your sadhana. First it has started as a ritual and then it becomes a commitment, commitment to yourself and commitment to God who is within you. We take a pledge before the divine that we will be pure. Why? Why do we take a pledge like this? Mainly because we become aware of the importance of His being in us, and then we understand certain things, essentially we try to understand the transitoriness of existence here and the permanence of Divinity that is there. This is not well understood by many people, it leads us to lots of maya vaada. Many people have interpreted it, almost like Buddhists, some Buddhists not the Buddha himself, they have interpreted it as nihilism i.e. this world is not existing. No, the world exists but it is transient. To call it a transient or temporary is different from saying that it does not exist but this mistake occurred, an intellectual mistake occured and it led to so many consequences about which I am not going to bother here. What you should understand is that you are only a transitory existence, you are not going to last forever, this physical body. What is going to last is the spirit that is in you, which is divinity itself. That is why the great land of ours says that the Atman and the Brahman are the same. Who is inside is same thing as outside, that is the Brahman. The same Brahman is with you, the same Brahman is with me, when it is expressed through you it is your Atma and when it is expressed through me it is my Atma but literally there is only one Atma, universal consciousness that persists always, it perseveres, it doesn't cease. It ceases only when divinity withdraws. So there is no essential difference between you and your brother, between you and the so called enemy that you have got, the so called people who are detracting you, there is no difference. Everything is divinity manifesting itself. That is the permanent, this is the transient, this much of knowledge starts and once this starts you try to know how best you can improve the quality of your existence so that it is in tune with divinity, in tune with Brahman.

Lalaji Maharaj, the Master of my Master, said a very small sentence, a very unique sentence, which appeals to me as a student of philosophy. People have struggled to express the concepts of Atman and Brahman in so many ways in books of philosophy. They have struggled, each one made a good effort but very simple way of explaining was there from our Master who says, Atman is that which moves and thinks and whereas Brahman is one which grows and thinks. The thinking is common for both, the consciousness is common for both. One knocks around and the other one grows. I think you people understand the difference between a movement and growth. Our present consciousness is restricted to just movement, we knock around, we don't have any clarity. When it moves on to the higher plane and when it really grows into the level of a Brahman, starts growing in your consciousness, then you are encompassing the whole universe but when does it happen? Only when you get rid of your feeling of the body, that you are restricted to your body. So long as the illusion of the body that it is the self is there, you will not be growing. Sadhana enables you to feel the growth in you and you start seeing the entire world as yours. You become first a Mahatma, go on to the higher level, then you also go to a level of Viswatma and after this you get into a Paramatma condition. These are all the various stages which you feel, you start vibrating to the things which are outside. As on date the modern man is condemned to thinking about himself, he is bothered about himself, he has isolated himself so much that he does not feel for somebody else. The natural warmth and love that we should have for anybody suffering is missing today. Some person who is dead, some person who was very old and weak was able to make the Siddhartha become a Buddha, he vibrated to the problems of somebody else. He started feeling for somebody else's suffering. Today we have got ourselves condemned to the condition of bothering about ourselves, we do not think anything other than this. That is mainly because your consciousness is restricted to your body. This consciousness which is restricted to your body is really a consciousness that is pervading the entire universe. We are one with the universe, that is our destiny. The destiny is to become a Purushottama but today we are condemned Jivas. This is the position but what do you note in the diaries? You start feeling that I seem to be something which is beyond, I seem to be expanding, I do not feel the presence of myself-the body, I don't feel the body consciousness, it has become so light, I seem to have crossed the borders and boundaries of my existence, this is one of the experiences you get. Any person, who is doing sadhana properly, will get these experiences. If you don't note this, you will be missing enormous points. When you become light, when you become something, you feel like growing to the level of Brahman, however limited it is, you may not be total Brahman but you have moved on. The individual existence is capable of merging itself into higher consciousness. This has to be noted. If you have not made a habit of writing diary from the very beginning, you will not be in a position to note it when it comes. This is my point to you because diary helps you to become sensitive. When you start noting down, this is what I have done, this I ought not to have done, this I think I should do more, if this is the way in which you write about your sadhana, it becomes easy for you later to recognize the influx of the Divine which actually pulls you out of your consciousness.

If you don't learn your alphabets properly, I am sure you are not going to understand any literature. So also if you do not know how to write diary and if you don't start writing diary, the chances are that you will miss the finer aspects of your sadhana. Why should I at all know? What is the need for me to know? After all I will be what I am, even without writing diary I will be that. As I told you in the beginning, you will be in a position to rectify your mistakes, you will be in a position to strengthen your efforts. You will feel certain times you have deep inclination for meditation, certain times you do not have any inclination at all, you don't want to do it. Those of you who have been studying literature or playing games know, that certain times alone you feel like playing, certain times you want to take off, you don't go.

The necessity for perseverance is there and it can be accomplished only through diary because you can point out your own lapses to yourself and only when you are confident about somebody else with whom you can share your diary, you will be in a position to share it with him and take further assistance from him. There are many many things you will not be in a position to say openly. Your defects are such you are not in a position to tell anybody but you have one friend, God, to whom you can tell. It is much better to put it in writing, this is what I have told Him, that enables you further to feel that this is the thing which you should get rid of. You will make a determination to get rid of that. It can be desires of various types which really obstruct your sadhana but if you make a note of it, you try to come out of it, the diary tells you this.

Now, I talked about the goal and I also said that we are not very clear about it. As far as the levels of human life, we are not living at that level. Now what is it that we should do? Then we say immediately the Prayer says since you are not able to live at the level of human being, we say 'I am yet but slave of wishes putting a bar to my advancement'. We say this very very clearly. It is your own obstructions, your wishes. Which are those wishes that are standing against you? Diary helps you to analyze it better. Few minutes you take it to record, will tell you which are the wishes that are standing against you and what you should do to get rid of it. Determination alone gets rid of these things, it is a sankalpa that is. Now, this is where this particular system, the value of the system is there. Traditionally when people said that wishes are there and you have got to control it. There are so many drives that are to be controlled. What they said was you do this Japa, you do this Tapa, you do this ritual, you go on fasting, all these things were given. Why? So that they develop your will, your sankalpa bala, it increases your will power. If you can be without food for 24 hours, that means you have been able to control your urge to eat. It is a drive, food is a drive, it drives you to action and you are able to control. Animals will not be in a position to do that, animals don't have a capacity to control their drive. When it feel hungry, it will definitely do something to get its food. It does not bother about the rights or wrongs, all these things are not there in animal, whereas here we have taken decision to control ourselves from eating, why? So that it develops the will power, not that it pleases God. Of course, you should be pleasing God when you develop your will power. So the development of will power is something that was stressed most whether it is tapascharya, or it is Japa, or it is Upavasa, or any other ritual connected with it, these are all connected with only this particular aspect of it to develop. How is it being done in this system? You are there, you are determined yourself to reach the Goal and the Master's support is there through Pranahuti. Now, the need for this type of support may not be felt every day but you feel after some time that you seem to have got stuck up. If you see your diaries, you seem to have got stuck up somewhere, then you require the support. As on date there is no other system in which you get this support. Here there is at least some other person, who is going to assist you in solving this particular bottleneck that you feel. How is it being done? What is sadhana? Diverting our attention from ourself towards God is sadhana. So this particular thing is what he also exercises, his will and then both of you will be in a position to work better. Do you understand? Now, whether have you found the need to go to a person, 'I think it is a time for me to go to another person to take assistance' How will you know this? Otherwise it becomes a ritual. You may be going to a person once in a week or twice in a week or once in a month, if you are nearby every day, and if you are far off once in a year. That is not the way to do sadhana, sadhana is to be done in a very very conscious way. We have got to make a note of what are all the feelings we have got? Where we require the support of the somebody else? Only then we have to go. Now, this support is not necessarily to be sought everyday from somebody else, this support of pranahuti is there with you from the Master all the time once you are connected, it is there, but still an extra attention may be required and then you seek the help of the person.

To know the need for whether you are stuck up somewhere or not, diary is a must. The same thought comes to you again and again, may be even the thought of the Master that He is the saviour of all. This thought, if you go on getting only this thought forever, that means you got stuck up somewhere. The reason for that is if you start a journey from Hyderabad to Delhi, if you see same scene again and again, that means your train has stopped, it is not moving. Similarly in your consciousness if you get a same thought again and again, it is the Master always but Master as what? Master as the person who clears your doubts? Master as a person who is going to help you in your promotion? Master as a person who is going to help you in the marriage of your daughter or brother? Master as the person who is the saviour of your soul? Master as the person who is my beloved? I do not know Master nor I know myself is the condition. These are all the conditions, various conditions you come across. Final condition is really you do not know what you are, you really do not know what God is. By definition He is unknowable and by having an almost sayujya with Him you also become unknowable. So both of you become unknowable, the whole exercise looks meaningless but that is a long way off, it has nothing to do with diary. What happens is in these initial stages, we get stuck up and to know that you are stuck up, you need a diary to note it. Otherwise, I have got a standing way of looking at things that if you ask any person how was your mediation or how was your studies? Let us not bother about meditation, let us talk about how was your office? You will say, fine. What did you do? Nothing, what do you propose to do? I don't know. These are the standard answers we have got for any question. That is the level to which the modern mind has sunk. There may be delivery at home, there may be death at home, there may be a marriage proposal, there may be anything for that matter, this fellow's standard answer is nothing. The same is the position of meditation also. How was the meditation? I have got so many abhyasis, I have got so many associates with me with whom I ask this question, they always say to me 'fine', what did you feel? nothing. What do you propose to do? 'I don't know, it is for you to tell me', these are the standard answers we got for all questions. The three answers, the modern man has got for any question in this world is this. Such a thing will not happen if you write diary, you will definitely say what is right with you or what is wrong with you. You will definitely say that I require assistance from some body or I am going to improve my meditation on point A or Point B or I will attend to my cleaning much more seriously or my mind is not staying properly therefore I will do a trimukha japa. You will say certain thing and when you do and when you note it, leads to progress. If you do not note, you will have same three answers at any point of time. So the advantage of writing diary is that you get to know.

Now during meditation you have placed yourself in a state of passiveness. You are asked to meditate on the divine light and not to do anything further. Ignore the thoughts that come to you, that is what you are told but you did not succeed in that. Many thoughts disturbed you, if you don't recollect these thoughts you are happy, you are not supposed to recollect also. Even without any effort to recollect there are certain thoughts that come to you. After the meditation is over, you get to know these are all the thoughts that were there. To use the word disturbing is not correct. They were there, they did not disturb your meditation but they were there and you make a note of this. What are the thoughts that come to you generally? If you are very serious what are the thoughts that come to you generally? A Master, yes, you get Master's thoughts that He is assisting you certain times you have got a feeling, certain times you got a feeling that He is not assisting you 'however much I pray nothing seems to be happening in this world'. The problem of so and so is not solved, my son is not getting employed, my daughter is not getting married, my sister has become a burden, God is not giving any relief for me, these are all the thoughts that come to you. Let us face the situation and as you advance in sadhana what happens is these things fade out, you don't have to make any extra effort. Who removes it.? He removes it. How does He remove it? By cleaning you. When purity is entering into you every second, during your meditation atleast, it will purify your inner consciousness, it will resemble the one of the divine. We are not asking you to become numb. Nobody asks you, any serious raja yogi will not ask you to be numb. We would like you to be active always, acting in the present. Kindly note, the point is that all our problems are either memories of the past or reflections of the future. If you live in the present, your meditation will be perfect but we tend to live either in the past worrying about had I done that I could have been better, I could have done it still more better than that or perhaps these things need not have been given to me, God unnecessarily punished me like this, these type of things which have happened to you already. Or you start thinking that I am going to become like this, I am going to become a brahma jnani, I am going to become somebody who is karma yogi, these type of things. Either this or that, nobody lives in the present. Your task is to live in present, you are asked to meditate in the present and your thoughts relate to either the past or the future. If it is on the present, your meditation will be perfect because you will do your job only, you will not do anything else. So this habit of wandering of the mind has to come down, then you can see the impact how it is coming down. Over a period of time in your sadhana it will reflect.

When you come to a stage of saying that, yes, everything according to its importance has found a place in my life and you say that the goal is reached. When is the goal reached? When you see a God with four hands and thousand feet? No, Such a God doesn't exists. God within you is simple, straight, it is love. So when it comes to it then you will see the importance of the Commandments that are there. When can you say that you have reached perfection in sadhana is reflected in Commandment No. 9, where you will see that Mould your life in such a way that you become a devotee, No, in such a way that others start thinking about God. He is one person who is living in God, by God, for God and therefore I should also become like that. You should become an example, you have got to mould your life in such a way that other people tend to think about God, they develop love towards God. This is possible only when the self is brought almost to a zero and you, the atman, has to get merged itself in brahman. You don't exist, it is the brahman alone in action. Is that an idle situation of sitting in one corner not bothered about welfare of others? Surely not, the goal is to mould others. You have to mould in such a way that others get this. So when will you be in a position to do this? When once you know what is real and also be prepared to serve others for that. Then you can say that you have reached somewhere near divinity. From the level of man, which I told you related to Satya, Ahimsa etc., we have to move up to the level of service to others, without selfishness, with certain amount of sacrifice, that is all divinity about. Move on towards the Divinity and further on towards nothingness.

So if you have got to gauge yourself with various parameters that have been given there - To eat in a constant thought of Divine whatever is coming to you without grumbling, without feeling bad about it, whatever is given we accept it as blessing of Divine, as what God has given. Treat all people as brothers, have you been able to or not? You will be in a better position to be able to write in your diary. You can see in your dairy whether you have been able to come upto these expectations. There are various things, which start with the routine things of getting up in the morning and ending up with prayer.

About the prayer, I will say few words. When you go to bed you are asked to pray. This is one casualty I have found amongst all people who say that they pray because at the end of the day you are tired, you have no time. You would like to lie down and those of the people who pray at that time are the people who really don't get sleep because of various problems that they have got. If you get sleep and it is late in the evening, I am cent per cent sure that no person prays. It is my experience and there is lot of difficulty in praying. Prayer is not all that simple, prayer demands a will on your part to say that you do not know, you are humble and nobody accepts it, particularly in a modern world where egoism has been stressed beyond measure, self has been stressed beyond measure, you will not yield to Divine also, end up with the ritual of telling prayer once or twice and then turn off yourself to the bed. It is never a prayer of humility, trying to place before the Divine that I have done my best, these are all the following mistakes, I wish that I come out of it, I am unable to get out of it, I am slave of my wishes putting a bar to my advancement, I am not able to come out of this, only you can help me, and with the suppliant mood if you sleep the whole night becomes prayer. If you get into prayerful mood and then go to bed the whole night is a prayer but I don't know when night starts now a days. I get confused most often because somebody says 7'o clock somebody says 9'o clock and somebody says 2'o clock,you don't know when. One thing that modern man has been able to do really is, to annul whatever is the natural order.

I don't think it will be possible for me to tell my granddaughter when the day ends and when the night starts. Nights are flooded with lights, how to say that it is dark? It is not dark, she finds a big question mark, where is the darkness? Night means dark and day time means bright, this is what we are told. It is not so today. Night they say, every bird gets back and even now I think in spite of the lights they get back to the trees. I see them coming back to the nests but then we don't come back. They have got an instinctual way of getting back but we lost that, we never had the instinct and we lost intelligence. People think that they have become more intelligent but they lost their intelligence, intelligence means discrimination. You should know when to take rest, we have not learnt to take rest. We are keeping alive, kicking around all the time with enormous activity, it makes no sense. I had recently a call from some abhyasi saying that 'I am not finding time for prayer at all'. I asked him, do you mediate? No, Do you clean? No, Do you pray? No. Why? I am tired.

I don't know why we are living. If you can't be comfortable, if you can't be happy - and you can be happy only in company of Divinity, I tell you this, you can never be happy otherwise. In the company of anybody else you are alien, you are somebody other than Him. You and me, suppose we try to live together, still I will feel certain amount of say, a screen is there which is put saying that you are different from me. This one screen does not exist between God and you because He is always with you even when you are not mindful for Him. Your friend, you may perhaps give now and then some coffee, now and then some tiffin, now and then some food, some company of talking and all that. You give importance to your outside friend but the inside friend is ignored and even then he keeps company. He is such a fast friend, even when you ignore him totally, he remembers you, He is always with you and modern man has ruined this particular opportunity further, where all the time being busy either seeing a TV or reading a paper or hearing a music etc., your activities, your work, your study, whatever it is and then you should be dead tired that you have no time for God and then you think about sleep whereas prayer demands that you earmark some time for Him and then say this is the time for God. I am going to place myself with my friend, my friend who loves me so much, I am going to tell him what are my difficulties, what are the things that are standing against achieving my goal, why is it that I am not able to perform at my best.

Yoga, any yoga for that matter should give you the capacity to function at your best in whatever thing that you do and when you are exhausted, your performance is definitely poor but we still run. Performance is done best when it is done within certain limits. There are limits, there are physiological and psychological limits and you don't have to pull yourself to the situation of stress or strain. There is no necessity for it but then we do all that. Then atleast you say to divinity, I am helpless, I am doing like this, please save me, atleast this much you can find sometime before going to bed and you pray to Master, saying that you alone can save me.

If you want to see various hues and colours by which your sadhana goes, the diary alone helps you for that. There is no other way, you have to maintain it because you know your mind much better than anybody else. You know your habits much better than anybody else. Which habits are impeding your progress, which habits are helping you in your progress, as they put it, anukulasya sankalpam pratikulasya varjanam. Whatever is anukula, you have got to accept it, whatever is pratikula, you should leave it. These are the two methods by which we achieve our objective, in any field for that matter. Even in study or in play, you have got to have clarity as to which helps you in achieving and which helps in impeding. Here the question is of yourself evaluating, so the parameters are given, you can use.

There are many people who say that 'Sir, 'I have not been able to meditate for one hour'. I used to tell very honestly, I used to confess my position in early days of my practice to my Master saying that, first half-an-hour the mind does not cooperate, second half an hour the body doesn't co-operate, how can I do sadhana? I used to ask. The situation was there, today I am able to sit for hours and speak in His memory, telling about His system, How? How has it come about? By sadhana. He said immediately, you put an alarm for one hour and only when alarm rings, you get up, till that time don't get up. Make a determination to sit down, the body will obey you. There are so many methods, each man can adopt, some advanced people can put the internal clock to work saying that they will get up only after one hour and it will remind you after one hour. There is a clock inside, it clicks more regularly than our mechanical clocks.

So various aspects of this, when you eat you should think about divine, how often you have been thinking about it. The taste of food is such you don't have to think about divine. Many times it happens and then the taste of it you know in advance that it is not going to be good and you would like to throw it out. You don't accept it as what divinity has given to you. Divinity alone has given you that, you don't want to accept it. These feelings are there with you, with me and everyone of us, these type of feelings are bound to be there with us. How much of discipline that is required is achieved by us? If you want to know this, the diary alone is the way, there is no other way by which you can know this. These things just otherwise will be brushed aside by you.